Standard Bank wishes to inform all it's clients that we are installing new
"Drive-thru" ATM machines, where you will be able to withdraw money
without leaving your vehicle. Please follow the instructions that apply to you;

For our MALE customers:
1. Drive up to the ATM machine
2. Open your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive off

For our FEMALE customers:
1. Drive up to ATM machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with machine
3. Restart stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
6.Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM machine, due to its
excessive distance from car
9. Insert card
10. After "Invalid card" is displayed, remove your Medicare card,
and insert correct ATM card
11. Remove ATM card
12. Re-insert card right way up
13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page
14. Enter PIN
15. Press "cancel" and re-enter correct PIN
16. Enter amount of cash required
17. Check make-up in rearview mirror
18. Retrieve card
19. Empty handbag again to locate card holder and place card inside
20. Place receipt in back of cheque book
21. Re-check make-up
22. Drive forward 2metres
23. Reverse back to ATM machine but avoid hitting cars waiting in line.
24. Retrieve cash and smile to avoid embarrassment
25. Re-empty handbag, locate purse and place cash inside
26. Restart stalled engine and pull off
27. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres untill you see smoke appear in rear view mirror.
28. Stop and release handbrake

cheers
michael

 

Admit it Michael, your missus owns you, doesn't she?! :p .

 

Funny because it's true!

LOL

 

Thought I'd revive this dinosaur thread since it's so humorous

 

Ha HA ...I thought for a sec Lock's Back

Very Funny ,I miss these pointless sexist threads ,He He

BRING BACK THE LOCK !!!!

Ciao

Dave

 

Now now boys there are a few girl racer 8 owners. ....however did laugh at this one. Have a girlfriend who would do this to a tee....

 

since when? there is only one girl over here......
missy didnt mind the female jokes.... i think

 

h thats sweet.....

Q: why would a blonde chick cross the road?

 

Now there are 2!

Only having a stir..he he......have a really good joke recently received...it's a sound file can I post that here? if so how??

 

awesome!
welcome to the forum

im pretty sure you need to have it linked from a server.

 

You going to the Nats? You know if a girl does a better time than me I'll CRY.

 

Yes, but she IS female remember.............

 

Thin ice my friend

Nah only joshin'

Just ask the guys here in SA....they made fun of me to start....now they stay away!!! The phrase, "Don't drive angry" springs to mind!!

Nope not doin the Nats so your time is safe!!

Thanks for stickin' up for me Missy K

 

Look, she's not going to the Nats because she knows I'd wipe the floor with her! What about you Kalli?

 

TT, you have been out-numbered....

 

Now now Mr TIM TAM....I believe U R SCARED.....someone that spins as much crapola as you might be a tinzy winzy scared!!!

Wipe the floor might be a bit of an overstatement.....I might change my mind now...get the car trailered accross just to get you!!!

I'm a lot tuffer than the average gal...as is Kalli...and you my man are going to have to try a little bit harder to ruffle my mascara clad lashes!!!!

If you ever get your capital city butt to Adelaide give me a call...would love to see you do a lap around Mallala....and yes I will let you have the first corner!!

Now lets play nice and be friends or you'll have both of us coming to get you!!

BTW all this male bravado....doesn't make you go faster......

 

God, now she's put me in my place.

 

Oh you give up too easy....

I'll try to be nicer from now on.......

 

pls dont.... im kinda enjoying this, and im sure missy is too

 

stuff the popcorn.... mint choc and cookies & cream is on their way