Police Say: "Two 8's = Warning" ??
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From: I'm a yankee trapped in Houston!!
Police Say: "Two 8's = Warning" ??
For those of you that didn’t hate me already, this should pretty much seal the deal. (Cliff Notes at bottom)
You might remember from a few weeks ago that I got pulled over for going 70-something in a 35. I explained to the cop that I wasn’t trying to show off or race, nor was I in any rush to get to work – I was just hitting my daily redline. I gave the officer a short speech about rotary engines and why they had to be redlined, and that I chose the isolated back road for this task because trying to redline 2nd gear on the highways during rush hour is suicide.
I got off with a verbal warning.
I thought that I’d never have a cop experience to top that.
This past Friday, I was proved wrong.
(and I have a witness this time!)
As some of you probably know, I was planning on driving my car from the Southern USA border to the Northern USA border and back. While my tires still have enough tread to last as commuters/grocery getters for another month or 2, they certainly wouldn’t make the Houston -> Sandusky -> Houston drive, so I ordered some new ones at Discount Tire. I bought my last tires a little over 2 months ago, I’ll be damned if they’re going to have any life left on them when I trash them, so I’ve been driving much harder than usual, intentionally tearing them up.
So, Friday afternoon, my ex and I are sitting at a red light, waiting for the green arrow, and I’m telling her about some guy on a motorcycle who complimented on my car earlier that day. She says something that sounded like a very mumbled “that’s cool,” just as we get the green light. I don’t launch or even chirp my tires, but I get on the throttle pretty hard right off the line. As soon as we start moving, my ex mumbles, again, something that sounds like “that's cool.”
I think nothing of it, redline it to the middle of the intersection, shift and over rev, and snap the wheel hard to the left. The backend slides out, the DSC catches me at about 15 degrees, straightens me out, I keep the floored all the way to 55mph (10 over), then set the cruise control. My ex then angrily repeats what she’s been mumbling: “CONSTABLE!”
..****..
I lower the cruise control to 50mph and continue to drive normally, hoping that the cop is currently after a bigger fish. When I get to the next light, it’s *just* turned red. As the cop car grows larger in my rearview, I wait for the red & blue lights to start flashing. I pray for him to be one of those cops that likes to scare people and not give tickets.
As he gets closer, it seems like my prayers have been answered! He doesn’t turn on his lights, changes lanes, and violently slams on his brakes, stopping himself along my passenger side in just the right spot where my frame blocks us from making eye-contact, but the big “CONSTABLE” written on the side of his car stands dominantly in view.
I’ve had cops do this to me before in my RX7, and it was just the officer’s way of saying “Stop being an idiot starting NOW,” without having to use actual words. I feel this great weight lift off of me as I’m swept with a feeling of relief. I’m just about to say to my ex “thank GOD that cop’s in a good mood,” when I notice she’s rolling down her window!
She waves to the cop, who then backs up to make eye contact with me. I was expecting to see an unhappy & unpleasant looking younger cop who wanted to chew my *** out for driving like a putz.
Not the case.
The cop was a guy in his mid-late 30’s, with a big smile on his face, and talking to someone on his cell! He seemed to be in a good mood, so for a second I thought I was going to get a kind “Take it easy, there, Speed Racer.”
Nope.
He tells me to pull into the parking lot of the Shell station that’s a little ways down the road. I find this to be rather odd since there’s plenty of room on the shoulder to pull onto, but I don’t feel that this would be the right time or place to question someone’s logic. I’m seething with fury at this point, screaming at my ex for rolling down the window, all the way to the Shell station. As soon as we pull in I see why the constable chose this over the shoulder – there were 3 other cop cars parked there! Looks like I’m finally going to jail.
The cop walks up to me and I hand him my license & insurance. He says nothing as he takes them, still with a big smile on his face. He turns to walk back to his car without saying a word when I guess he realized he had to say *something* to me before giving me a ticket. “I’m assuming you know what this is for,” he said as he started taking one very slow step back towards his vehicle.
“Yeah – cause I was sliding around back there.”
He stops his stride short and leans back a little bit. “And excessive speed, yes.”
“What?” I say shocked.
“Yeah,” he says in a sarcastic tone, “I clocked you going more than 30 over.”
I look at my ex in total confusion. The expression on her face is the same as she shakes her head and says to me “There’s no way – that’s not possible.”
I quickly turn back to the officer who’s started to walk away and say very accusingly “That’s a lie! There’s no way. I couldn’t have been going that fast.”
He turns around and takes a step back towards me, looks me right in the eye, and says “Yes you were” in a very ‘don’t you dare challenge me’ kind of way.
I do the dumb thing and start to argue with the cop. “That’s not even possible! This car can’t *DO* that.”
My ex jumps in and adds “Yeah – this car can’t go that fast.”
The cop just scoffs and says “It’s a fast car” and starts to walk off.
Just as he’s finishing the first step I say “This car doesn’t have enough power to do that – it’s only a 1.3 liter.”
My ex says half to me, half to the cop “Yeah, that’s not possible – this car can’t go that fast.”
The cop stops in his tracks for a moment. There’s a brief pause. He then walks back to me, leans over, and with a baffled look on his face says “One point three??”
“Yeah,” I say, “and I was only in second gear when I stopped accelerating.”
His expression becomes very intrigued as he takes a step back. He gives my car a good once-over with his eyes, and says “It’s a quick car,” but in a way where it sounds like he’s asking me, like, “It’s a *quick* car?”
He’s the one with the gun, so I decide to stop arguing with him at that point and agree with him that my car is “quick.”
At this point, I realize that the cop might not be looking to write a ticket. I mean, he’s in a good mood, he likes my car, he kinda’ dropped his accusation that I was speeding, so just maybe I can talk my way out of a reckless driving charge, and the fine will be something much more affordable.
Before the cop can start walking away again, I start to explain to him that I’m not trying to be cool or show off, I’m just intentionally destroying my tires. I tell him about the road trip, how they were still good, but were going to be trashed very soon, and how I wanted to get my moneys worth of wear from them before then.
He just looks at me dazed for a few seconds before saying “WHAT? Explain that to me again.”
So I tell him in more detail my reason for intentionally trying to shred my treads. He just laughs and walks off. When he gets back to his cruiser, one of his buddies is waiting for him. I see them talking in my rearview, and based on their body language, I’m able to tell what part of my story the constable is currently telling the sheriff. When he gets to the part about my tires, the sheriff gives a “WTF” look, stops the constable from continuing his story, and beelines it towards me.
“Now WHY did you say you were swerving all over the place?” he asks as he leans down towards me.
I explain it all again.
The sheriff stumbles around for words. I can tell he understands my logic, he’s just caught off guard by it – I guess I was the first person to ever admit such an asinine plan to a police officer. He starts to give me the “are you an idiot” look, and looks as if he’s about to give me a speech on what constitutes a good excuse, and how badly I missed the mark.
Before he can start, I quickly say “Hey – I never said it was a good or smart idea – but nonetheless, that’s the reason why I was doing it.”
He doesn’t seem to find me funny.
He explains that if I left large enough tire marks, I’d be going to jail; destruction/vandalism of public property that costs more than $50 to repair is instant jail time. No tickets, no fines – straight to jail. If there are no tire marks, I could still face reckless driving charges and lose my license. You can get busted for failure to control your vehicle if you happen to lose control of your car. If you intentionally lose control of your car it’s reckless driving. If you drive recklessly when people are around, it’s reckless endangerment.
The sheriff leaves me on that note and heads back to the constable. They exchange words, there’s a bit of shrugging and smirking, and they keep looking back at my car every few seconds. I have no idea what fate they’re about to bestow upon me. I look at my ex to ask her what she thinks. She just shakes her head and says “There’s no way you were going that fast. NO. WAY.”
Apparently she fried a lobe and got caught in an infinite loop when she heard the constable’s impossible claim.
The constable returns holding only my license and insurance. At this point I figured if I wasn’t going to get a ticket, I was going to get arrested. Before the constable could say anything, I just sighed and said “I’m not going to like how this ends, am I?”
With a bit of a smile the constable lays it on me: “Well, I’m not gonna’ lie – I liked your story. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it about an 8. My friend over there, he liked it to. He gave it an eight as well. That’s good news. Know why? ‘Cause two 8’s equals a warning.”
He hands me my stuff back and gets a real serious tone for a moment as he says “Cut the bullshit out.”
I thank him, take my stuff back, and as he’s walking away he smiles again and says “By the way, you’ve got a very nice car.”
:D
Short Version:
I was stopped at an intersection waiting to make a left turn.
There was a cop nearby that I didn’t see.
I gun it when I get the green, throwing the back end out, and keep it floored until I hit 55mph.
The cop pulls me over in a parking lot with 3 other cops in it.
The cop accuses me of going 0-80 in less than 7 seconds.
I argue that speeds like that are impossible for my car, and I hit him with some rotary factoids, and explain to him that I’m intentionally destroying my tires ‘cause new ones are in the mail.
One of the other cops in the lot asks me to explain myself.
I tell this cop the same thing.
The two cops discuss my fate with each other.
The cop that pulled me over comes back to me and says:
“Well, I’m not gonna’ lie – I liked your story. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it about an 8. My friend over there, he liked it to. He gave it an eight as well. That’s good news. Know why? ‘Cause two 8’s equals a warning. Now, cut the bullshit out. By the way, you’ve got a very nice car.”
You might remember from a few weeks ago that I got pulled over for going 70-something in a 35. I explained to the cop that I wasn’t trying to show off or race, nor was I in any rush to get to work – I was just hitting my daily redline. I gave the officer a short speech about rotary engines and why they had to be redlined, and that I chose the isolated back road for this task because trying to redline 2nd gear on the highways during rush hour is suicide.
I got off with a verbal warning.
I thought that I’d never have a cop experience to top that.
This past Friday, I was proved wrong.
(and I have a witness this time!)
As some of you probably know, I was planning on driving my car from the Southern USA border to the Northern USA border and back. While my tires still have enough tread to last as commuters/grocery getters for another month or 2, they certainly wouldn’t make the Houston -> Sandusky -> Houston drive, so I ordered some new ones at Discount Tire. I bought my last tires a little over 2 months ago, I’ll be damned if they’re going to have any life left on them when I trash them, so I’ve been driving much harder than usual, intentionally tearing them up.
So, Friday afternoon, my ex and I are sitting at a red light, waiting for the green arrow, and I’m telling her about some guy on a motorcycle who complimented on my car earlier that day. She says something that sounded like a very mumbled “that’s cool,” just as we get the green light. I don’t launch or even chirp my tires, but I get on the throttle pretty hard right off the line. As soon as we start moving, my ex mumbles, again, something that sounds like “that's cool.”
I think nothing of it, redline it to the middle of the intersection, shift and over rev, and snap the wheel hard to the left. The backend slides out, the DSC catches me at about 15 degrees, straightens me out, I keep the floored all the way to 55mph (10 over), then set the cruise control. My ex then angrily repeats what she’s been mumbling: “CONSTABLE!”
..****..
I lower the cruise control to 50mph and continue to drive normally, hoping that the cop is currently after a bigger fish. When I get to the next light, it’s *just* turned red. As the cop car grows larger in my rearview, I wait for the red & blue lights to start flashing. I pray for him to be one of those cops that likes to scare people and not give tickets.
As he gets closer, it seems like my prayers have been answered! He doesn’t turn on his lights, changes lanes, and violently slams on his brakes, stopping himself along my passenger side in just the right spot where my frame blocks us from making eye-contact, but the big “CONSTABLE” written on the side of his car stands dominantly in view.
I’ve had cops do this to me before in my RX7, and it was just the officer’s way of saying “Stop being an idiot starting NOW,” without having to use actual words. I feel this great weight lift off of me as I’m swept with a feeling of relief. I’m just about to say to my ex “thank GOD that cop’s in a good mood,” when I notice she’s rolling down her window!
She waves to the cop, who then backs up to make eye contact with me. I was expecting to see an unhappy & unpleasant looking younger cop who wanted to chew my *** out for driving like a putz.
Not the case.
The cop was a guy in his mid-late 30’s, with a big smile on his face, and talking to someone on his cell! He seemed to be in a good mood, so for a second I thought I was going to get a kind “Take it easy, there, Speed Racer.”
Nope.
He tells me to pull into the parking lot of the Shell station that’s a little ways down the road. I find this to be rather odd since there’s plenty of room on the shoulder to pull onto, but I don’t feel that this would be the right time or place to question someone’s logic. I’m seething with fury at this point, screaming at my ex for rolling down the window, all the way to the Shell station. As soon as we pull in I see why the constable chose this over the shoulder – there were 3 other cop cars parked there! Looks like I’m finally going to jail.
The cop walks up to me and I hand him my license & insurance. He says nothing as he takes them, still with a big smile on his face. He turns to walk back to his car without saying a word when I guess he realized he had to say *something* to me before giving me a ticket. “I’m assuming you know what this is for,” he said as he started taking one very slow step back towards his vehicle.
“Yeah – cause I was sliding around back there.”
He stops his stride short and leans back a little bit. “And excessive speed, yes.”
“What?” I say shocked.
“Yeah,” he says in a sarcastic tone, “I clocked you going more than 30 over.”
I look at my ex in total confusion. The expression on her face is the same as she shakes her head and says to me “There’s no way – that’s not possible.”
I quickly turn back to the officer who’s started to walk away and say very accusingly “That’s a lie! There’s no way. I couldn’t have been going that fast.”
He turns around and takes a step back towards me, looks me right in the eye, and says “Yes you were” in a very ‘don’t you dare challenge me’ kind of way.
I do the dumb thing and start to argue with the cop. “That’s not even possible! This car can’t *DO* that.”
My ex jumps in and adds “Yeah – this car can’t go that fast.”
The cop just scoffs and says “It’s a fast car” and starts to walk off.
Just as he’s finishing the first step I say “This car doesn’t have enough power to do that – it’s only a 1.3 liter.”
My ex says half to me, half to the cop “Yeah, that’s not possible – this car can’t go that fast.”
The cop stops in his tracks for a moment. There’s a brief pause. He then walks back to me, leans over, and with a baffled look on his face says “One point three??”
“Yeah,” I say, “and I was only in second gear when I stopped accelerating.”
His expression becomes very intrigued as he takes a step back. He gives my car a good once-over with his eyes, and says “It’s a quick car,” but in a way where it sounds like he’s asking me, like, “It’s a *quick* car?”
He’s the one with the gun, so I decide to stop arguing with him at that point and agree with him that my car is “quick.”
At this point, I realize that the cop might not be looking to write a ticket. I mean, he’s in a good mood, he likes my car, he kinda’ dropped his accusation that I was speeding, so just maybe I can talk my way out of a reckless driving charge, and the fine will be something much more affordable.
Before the cop can start walking away again, I start to explain to him that I’m not trying to be cool or show off, I’m just intentionally destroying my tires. I tell him about the road trip, how they were still good, but were going to be trashed very soon, and how I wanted to get my moneys worth of wear from them before then.
He just looks at me dazed for a few seconds before saying “WHAT? Explain that to me again.”
So I tell him in more detail my reason for intentionally trying to shred my treads. He just laughs and walks off. When he gets back to his cruiser, one of his buddies is waiting for him. I see them talking in my rearview, and based on their body language, I’m able to tell what part of my story the constable is currently telling the sheriff. When he gets to the part about my tires, the sheriff gives a “WTF” look, stops the constable from continuing his story, and beelines it towards me.
“Now WHY did you say you were swerving all over the place?” he asks as he leans down towards me.
I explain it all again.
The sheriff stumbles around for words. I can tell he understands my logic, he’s just caught off guard by it – I guess I was the first person to ever admit such an asinine plan to a police officer. He starts to give me the “are you an idiot” look, and looks as if he’s about to give me a speech on what constitutes a good excuse, and how badly I missed the mark.
Before he can start, I quickly say “Hey – I never said it was a good or smart idea – but nonetheless, that’s the reason why I was doing it.”
He doesn’t seem to find me funny.
He explains that if I left large enough tire marks, I’d be going to jail; destruction/vandalism of public property that costs more than $50 to repair is instant jail time. No tickets, no fines – straight to jail. If there are no tire marks, I could still face reckless driving charges and lose my license. You can get busted for failure to control your vehicle if you happen to lose control of your car. If you intentionally lose control of your car it’s reckless driving. If you drive recklessly when people are around, it’s reckless endangerment.
The sheriff leaves me on that note and heads back to the constable. They exchange words, there’s a bit of shrugging and smirking, and they keep looking back at my car every few seconds. I have no idea what fate they’re about to bestow upon me. I look at my ex to ask her what she thinks. She just shakes her head and says “There’s no way you were going that fast. NO. WAY.”
Apparently she fried a lobe and got caught in an infinite loop when she heard the constable’s impossible claim.
The constable returns holding only my license and insurance. At this point I figured if I wasn’t going to get a ticket, I was going to get arrested. Before the constable could say anything, I just sighed and said “I’m not going to like how this ends, am I?”
With a bit of a smile the constable lays it on me: “Well, I’m not gonna’ lie – I liked your story. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it about an 8. My friend over there, he liked it to. He gave it an eight as well. That’s good news. Know why? ‘Cause two 8’s equals a warning.”
He hands me my stuff back and gets a real serious tone for a moment as he says “Cut the bullshit out.”
I thank him, take my stuff back, and as he’s walking away he smiles again and says “By the way, you’ve got a very nice car.”
:D
Short Version:
I was stopped at an intersection waiting to make a left turn.
There was a cop nearby that I didn’t see.
I gun it when I get the green, throwing the back end out, and keep it floored until I hit 55mph.
The cop pulls me over in a parking lot with 3 other cops in it.
The cop accuses me of going 0-80 in less than 7 seconds.
I argue that speeds like that are impossible for my car, and I hit him with some rotary factoids, and explain to him that I’m intentionally destroying my tires ‘cause new ones are in the mail.
One of the other cops in the lot asks me to explain myself.
I tell this cop the same thing.
The two cops discuss my fate with each other.
The cop that pulled me over comes back to me and says:
“Well, I’m not gonna’ lie – I liked your story. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it about an 8. My friend over there, he liked it to. He gave it an eight as well. That’s good news. Know why? ‘Cause two 8’s equals a warning. Now, cut the bullshit out. By the way, you’ve got a very nice car.”
Last edited by ½mv²; 07-15-2007 at 02:12 PM.
#5
Cops are something, aren't they? I've been pulled over three times in my life. Of those three, I only received two tickets. Of those two, one was dropped. The only ticket on my record was for not wearing my seatbelt, which was probably the only time I didn't, though I felt I technically shouldn't have gotten a ticket because, at the time, it was a secondary violation in New York, and they couldn't pull you over just for that reason alone.
Second time I was stopped, it was about 1am and I was making a 2+ hour drive home for the weekend during the summer. I was about 10-15 minutes away when I passed a car going the opposite direction, only to see them do a u-turn in my rear view mirror and hit their lights. They were cool and noticed I was a college student with dirty laundry in the back. "Just be careful," he said after asking where I was coming from, "a lot of bad things can happen this late when you've been on the road". "Yes sir, that's why I was speeding--I'm almost there and wanted to hurry up and get home".
The third time was pretty stupid on the cop's part. My brother had a new car and I was driving it for the first time. Well, I signaled for a lane change into the left--then cut over quickly. Of course the signal wasn't like on my car where you don't have to click it completely on, so the signal never came on. And just my luck, I cut in front of a cop.
He proceeds to follow me approximately 2 miles, through the busiest part of town, downtown in fact, before finally pulling me over. He asked if I had anything to drink and I said no, and explained to him what happened. He could care less, and proceeded to write me a ticket.
So I said, "Let me get this straight. You thought I made an unsafe lane change and may have been under the influence? Then why on earth would you proceed to allow me to drive for another two miles in heavy traffic?" "Sir, I was responding to another dispatch and pulled you over when I got a chance".
Yu-huh. My brother's lawyer said I should just take the ticket, to which I said bull crap and explained what happened. Ticket ultimately got dropped.
Second time I was stopped, it was about 1am and I was making a 2+ hour drive home for the weekend during the summer. I was about 10-15 minutes away when I passed a car going the opposite direction, only to see them do a u-turn in my rear view mirror and hit their lights. They were cool and noticed I was a college student with dirty laundry in the back. "Just be careful," he said after asking where I was coming from, "a lot of bad things can happen this late when you've been on the road". "Yes sir, that's why I was speeding--I'm almost there and wanted to hurry up and get home".
The third time was pretty stupid on the cop's part. My brother had a new car and I was driving it for the first time. Well, I signaled for a lane change into the left--then cut over quickly. Of course the signal wasn't like on my car where you don't have to click it completely on, so the signal never came on. And just my luck, I cut in front of a cop.
He proceeds to follow me approximately 2 miles, through the busiest part of town, downtown in fact, before finally pulling me over. He asked if I had anything to drink and I said no, and explained to him what happened. He could care less, and proceeded to write me a ticket.
So I said, "Let me get this straight. You thought I made an unsafe lane change and may have been under the influence? Then why on earth would you proceed to allow me to drive for another two miles in heavy traffic?" "Sir, I was responding to another dispatch and pulled you over when I got a chance".
Yu-huh. My brother's lawyer said I should just take the ticket, to which I said bull crap and explained what happened. Ticket ultimately got dropped.
Last edited by The_Bark; 07-15-2007 at 02:26 PM. Reason: changed hours to miles
#14
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printf("</%i pistons",3);
Joined: Dec 2006
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From: I'm a yankee trapped in Houston!!
The OP has 2 problems;
1) Irrational thought processes
2) Narcissism.
#15
Dude isn't it kind of bad karma to brag about how you got off clean from the cops?? It's like your testing out your luck ........dude be careful because third time you get pulled, might be the charm, possible ticket or something worse.
#17
The narcisssism comes from the idea that the conditon of your tires and what your desires are to do with them allows you to live by different rules than the rest of us. Don't get me wrong, it's not necessarily a criticism as I have my narco-tendencies as well. Maybe I'm just jealous that if it were me I would have had "the book thrown at me".
#18
Thread Starter
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From: I'm a yankee trapped in Houston!!
Dude isn't it kind of bad karma to brag about how you got off clean from the cops??
(and Karma doesn't take effect until your next life. If I do something wrong, I wont suffer the consequences of my actions until my next lifetime. The reason I got off with warnings these past two times is due to good things I did in my previous life.)
#20
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From: I'm a yankee trapped in Houston!!
The narcisssism comes from the idea that the conditon of your tires and what your desires are to do with them allows you to live by different rules than the rest of us.
Now that I know how steep the consequences can be for a simple slide, it no longer seems worth the risk. Until those tires arrive, I'm going to have to find a different way to rub all my tread off.
#21
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From: Buddhist Monastery, High Himalaya Mtns. of Tibet
A similar thing happened to me. I was making a left turn, from a light, the rear tires chirped when I shifted into 2nd. If I was intending to make noise, it would have been more than a chirp. I was pulled over and ticketed for squealing tires (a moving violation). In court, I got the ticket changed to worn tires (a non-moving ticket).
#23
wait..... i'm confused. were you really trying to trash your tires, as you mentioned to the 'constable', or were you just driving fast and drifting/powersliding and just made up that excuse? regardless, 2 cops in this story = gullible. i wish the california highway patrol was that stupid and forgiving.
#24
I don't understand trashing your tires just for the sake of it. Don't you mean that you are now not worried about tread life, so you are doing things you wouldn't have done as much of before? Are you getting some kind of deal for the new tires if your old ones are completely used up? Lets be honest, you are sliding around because you want to, not because you are trying to shred your tires. Otherwise, just take a belt sander to them
Last edited by Mobile; 07-15-2007 at 08:22 PM.
#25
wait..... i'm confused. were you really trying to trash your tires, as you mentioned to the 'constable', or were you just driving fast and drifting/powersliding and just made up that excuse? regardless, 2 cops in this story = gullible. i wish the california highway patrol was that stupid and forgiving.